From Reid Mihalko and Cathy Vartuli, two of my favorite sex geeks (sex coaches) on the internet. I've followed Reid's work ever since finding Cuddle Parties in my early 20s. My favorite part of Reid's work is his straight forward and innovative ideas around Relationships and Communication. This idea of positive gossiping is one of my favorites. Our words are powerful and can either tear us down or build us up. I prefer to build each other up - directly and indirectly.
I used this technique with my patients during my internship and the youth in the leadership program I used to volunteer with. They had a bad habit of gossiping negatively about each other, and they all had poor self-esteem. So I decided to turn both habits around with positive, uplifting gossip! I received a lot of wonderful feedback from the patients at my internship site.
I add one step to the exercise though. After writing down all the wonderful things people said about “the chosen one”, they had to stand up and say, “I am…” each thing on the list. It’s important for them to know deep in their soul that these wonderful things other people are saying about them are true.
I wish I could say this is my innovation, but I stole it from Len Daley, Cuddle Party Facilitator and trainer. When he facilitated this activity during the group facilitation training I attended many years ago… I was the first to read my list and I wept because I didn’t believe any of those wonderful things. This exercise changed my life and I’ve witnessed it changing the minds and lives of many others.