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Upcoming Event: InfinityCon in Atlanta, Nov 5-8

12/30/2014

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InfinityConBecause Love is Infinite
Do you identify as polyamorous, being in an open relationship, or as a swinger? Are you curious about ethical non-monogamy? Then join me at InfinityCon, an educational conference happening in Atlanta.  I’ll be presenting two workshops covering safer sex practices and solo polyamory. Other expert speakers will deliver classes on topics ranging from coming out of the closet, to polyamory and the law, and so much more. I love attending relationship conferences because I always learn so much about myself, my relationships, and my client's relationships. 

There are also some great social events planned, starting with a meet and greet Thursday night, movie night Friday night, and wrapping up with a black tie Poly Prom Saturday night.

InfinityCon is being held November 5-8, 2015 in Atlanta.  Come alone or bring one or all of your partners and join in for all the fun, frivolity, and education you can handle!

Now you can save 10% on registration by using the code LOVEPOS10!

Go to infinitycon.net for tickets and hotel reservations.

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Do you speak love? Discover your Love Language

12/10/2014

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Many couples seek counseling because something seems lacking in their communication or the passion has fizzled after many years together. One of my favorite questions to new couples in my office is, "What is your love language?" 


Most people communicate in one or more of the five love languages: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Giving/Receiving Gifts, Quality time, and Physical Touch. While some people may communicate in more that one most people have a primary language of love. Dr. Gary Chapman developed the Love Languages theory and has changed the way people around the world interact with each other.

These languages not only apply to romantic relationships but also those with coworkers, children, and teenagers. Since his first book The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, Chapman has written more books each breaking down how to apply these principles to other areas and relationships in your life.

There is not one language that's 'better' or 'more effective' than any other. Just finding what works best for you in your relationships is the more important part. It can be easy to discover your love language and you may already know it; just think about what brings you closer to the important people in your life.

Words of Affirmation - This language uses words to affirm other people. People who value this type of communication need to hear you say that you love them, appreciate them, and respect them. To them words speak louder than actions and hearing you verbally confirm what they are hoping you feel is critically important to developing a relationship with them.

Acts of Service - For these people, actions speak louder than words. These people know you love them when you do things to prove it. Helping them with tasks, chores, or anything they are struggling with proves your intentions. Many people get this confused with Receiving Gifts, but this is more about doing something than giving something.

Receiving Gifts - For some people, what makes them feel most loved is to receive a gift. Those with this communications style like physical reminders of your love for them. Everything from a small everyday gift to a large special occasion purchase. Normally it is not the value or size of the gift but the thought behind it.

Quality Time - This language is all about giving the other person your undivided attention. A phone call, visit, email, or text are always that you show you are making time for the person in your life. IT lets them know you are important to them and that it's worth your time to make a space for them. As with Receiving Gifts; it's often not about the amount of time but rather the intention behind it. 

Physical Touch - To this person, nothing speaks more deeply than appropriate touch. This language relies on consistent physical contact through out the day. Hugs, hand holding, kissing, snuggling -- everything that brings the two of you close physically will bring you closer emotionally as well. 

No matter what your love language is it's important that you find it and communicate with your partner about what you want and need from your relationship. Holding feelings back and doing things for them but not you is one of the quickest ways to build up resentment and distrust in a relationship.

Check out more of Dr.Gary Chapman's work, including his books; The Family You've Always Wanted, The Marriage You've Always Wanted, Desperate Marriages, God Speaks Your Love Language, How to Really Love Your Adult Child, and Hope for the Separated. With Dr. Jennifer Thomas, he co-authored The Five Languages of Apology.
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#Youaremore

12/1/2014

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The world tries to tell us who are, who we should be, who we're not allowed to be. Every word someone uses to describe or identify us stays with us through our memories. The language we use in our thoughts speaks far louder than the voices of those who try to tear us down, and even louder still than those who try to build us up. We give those labels power over our emotions, and we tend to let our emotions rule our lives. 

Part of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy involves disconnecting the emotional response to these words - the language of our thoughts. You are more than the thoughts in your mind, and the perceptions of others. You are a unique, talented, beautiful person with the power to observe, accept, and love your internal dialogue and physical form. I love this symbolic shedding of labels as a powerful experience crystalizing the concept of whole self. 
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    Anna Baxter

    A counselor passionate about love, communication, and happiness for all. I feel called to help people find internal and external peace by living and loving more authentically.

    verified by Psychology Today

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