I have a couple busy months ahead of me and I'd like to share the awesome events I'll be attending (and hosting) in the remainder of 2016. 

September 24, 2016: Alternative Relationship Education Workshop Event

I will be joining a team of local mental health professionals and the Relationship Equality Foundation to present a special CEU workshop designed to educate therapists, counselors, and others who seek to learn about sexual, gender and relational diversity – specifically alternative relationship structures.

Despite efforts to maintain non­judgmental attitudes, most mental health professionals know so little about this area that their responses to clients who “come out” to them can range from off­putting surprise to a disapproval that has anecdotally even done damage to clients, and created barriers to future treatment. We hope to prevent these experiences by educating mental health professionals in the areas of sexual, gender and relational diversity – specifically alternative relationship structures, considerations of relational attraction, sexual identity, and gender expression. Presenters have been selected from local professionals with experience in treating these populations, many with involvement and national exposure in the development of mental health standards in this area.

This workshop will provide six CEUs just in time for license renewal deadline. There will be a lunch break in the middle of the day, and a box lunch available for purchase during registration.

Please join us September 24th and share with any friends or colleagues who may be interested! For more information and to register, please visit arewe.relationshipequalityfoundation.org

October 13-15, 2016: Sex Down South

This year I will be attending Sex Down South for the first time! Last year was their first year and I heard lots of rave reviews so I'm looking forward to attending this year. I did not submit any class proposals because I want to enjoy learning and connecting with other educator and advocates of sex-positivity and inclusion. 

From the Sex Down South website:

"​Sex Down South was born out of a desire to create a safe space in the Southeast where folks could explore sex and sexuality.  Our focus is intentionally broad, catering to a diverse range of people: from those who are curious but not quite committed, to those who have been around the block…and then some! Our mission is to create a sex-positive space for people of all walks of life to come together, explore, connect, and share knowledge and skills. It’s your exploration destination for all things sex and erotic."

"Our goal is to foster learning, inspiration, and wonder – and provoke conversations that matter. From sex education and sexual health, to healthy communication and relationship skills; from alternative lifestyles such as kink and polyamory, to sex and spirituality and navigating sexual trauma."

November 3-6, 2016: THEA's PeachState Conference

Last year's inaugural PeachState conference was my first experience presenting at a community event and I'm glad to be back! I will be presenting a couple classes on transgender experience (specifics topics currently unknown). 

THEA's PeachState conference is a health and education conference for Transgender, Gender Diverse, and Gender Non-Conforming adults. 

November 11, 2016: Ethical Social Media Marketing for Therapists

The LGBTQ Therapist Resource network and Foundations Atlanta are co-hosting a 3-hour CEU event and they have invited me to present the basics and best practices of Ethical Social Media Marketing for therapists. In case you didn't know, before I went full-time as a counselor with Wellspring Counseling Center, I was a social media marketing manager for leading sex and relationship therapists. This presentation will cover social media and internet marketing how-tos from the most basic level, as well as the ethical implications and guidelines of having an online presence as a clinician.

Members of the LGBTQ Therapist Resource Network save $15 on registration for this class.

Register for this event on eventbrite.com

Many transgender people struggle with dysphoria, body dysphoria in particular. Body dysphoria means the body they have doesn’t match what they envision for themselves.

Being a romantic partner to a transgender person means you’re likely present for all of their experiences: happy, sad, angry, and dysphoric. Sexual partners of transgender people have a huge opportunity to effect their lover’s gender and body dysphoria. Many transgender person’s body dysphoria includes, and may even focus on, their genitals. Sexual intimacy puts you in direct contact with the part of their body that likely causes them the most discomfort. What you say, how you react, how you approach this intimate space and time has a huge impact on how your transgender partner will feel about their body. 

I was inspired to write about my experience as a partner to a transgender person after reading Melissa A. Fabello’s How to Reassure Your Partner That They’re Hot When They Hate Their Body. She wrote about the heterosexual cisgender narrative of a woman who’s body issues revolve around weight or shape, but I think her advice applies for partners of transgender people as well. 

As a loving and supportive partner, I want my partner to know they are lovable and desirable, body, mind, heart, and soul. 

For partners just beginning the transgender journey with your lover, changing how you relate to their body can take time. Be patient with yourself and your partner. It will be much easier if you both engage your creativity and explore new fun ways of relating to each other.


Relationship counseling can help couples wanting to Live and Love Authentically explore what's sexy for them in a safe, comfortable space.

Any one who knows me personally knows that my romantic partner inspired my work with transgender people, especially adolescents, because of the experience he has dealt with. My love for him inspires me to choose love towards all transgender people because unfortunately, the world contains more hate than love for them. This attitude inspired a colleague of mine, Dr. Tammy Nelson (www.drtammynelson.com) who is a prominent Imago couples therapist, and she featured an interview with me in an article on The Huffington Post: 'I Am Cait': Loving Someone Who Is Transgender.  The following quotes are taken from her article.


Anna said that living in the South, especially, it is difficult to find open-minded professionals who are open-minded and competent. She said the most difficult part is watching her partner go through the "...the intrinsic bias of a medical field, government, and social climate that doesn't understand or accept transgenderism."

"As a counselor, I've seen clients who have lost everything -- job, home, parents, spouse, children, friends -- who had seemingly successful lives and lost it all in hopes of being able to one day live their truth, to be accepted by society for who they are mentally, emotionally, spiritually."

Finally, Anna had this to say when I asked her what she wanted people to know about being a partner to a transgender person.

"I want people to know that being transgender is absolutely never a choice. The pain someone must feel trying to wear a persona that isn't authentic to their soul is more painful than all the hate, discrimination and rejection in the world because they face losing everything and everyone in order to live their truth. The suicide rate among transgender people is at least 40 percent. One in 12 transgender people will be murdered. One in 8 transgender women of color will be murdered. 80 percent of trans students feel unsafe at school because of their gender expression." (source: www.transstudent.org/transvisibility)

For anyone struggling with these issues, this advice is for people who may be going through what Cait or Anna or her partner are facing every day. If you know or love someone who is trans, please pass this on.

"Find a community of other transgender and gender non-conforming people who can share the burden and provide a safe, understanding space to express the anguish, anger, despair. Hold those who accept you fully and unconditionally in your true identity close as you break ties with those who refuse to love you as the person you truly are."

"Communicate openly and have patience for those who truly wish to support and honor you in your journey. For partners of transgender people beginning or continuing transition, keep your mind open and your heart filled with love. Physical compatibilities are pretty easy to contend with as long as love and respect continues."

Read the full article by Dr. Tammy Nelson on The Huffington Post

Friday June 26, 2015 is a historic day in American History. Just as San Francisco and New York City are beginning their LGBTQ Pride celebrations, The Supreme Court of The United States of America ruled that state marriage bans are unconstitutional and everyone has a right to marry the person they love, regardless of gender. 

For decades, the language associated with the LBG fight for equal rights has transformed from Gay Marriage and Same-Sex Marriage to Marriage Equality. Many are still using the term “same-sex marriage” but I’d like to see everyone strike that language from your vocabulary. Why? Let me explain…

Transgender and gender-queer people have been excluded from the freedom to marry the person they love simply because their gender doesn’t match their legal documents. Heterosexual couples were denied the right to marry simply because our federal government does not yet have a process for declaring gender, especially a gender outside the gender binary. The terms “Gay Marriage” and “Same-Sex Marriage” suggest a binary gender construct - Men with Men and Women with Women. It erases the multitude of combinations between biology, psychology, and spirituality that make up Gender. 

If you want to be inclusive and welcoming to all persons, regardless of gender, when discussing this monumental decision, please choose to use “Marriage Equality” because that’s really what this decision means. Everyone, regardless of sex or gender can marry and have the right to the privileges and protections granted to married couples in America.

Thankfully many of our nation’s leaders understand the far reaching impact of this decision:

“No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family. In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than once they were.” – Kennedy, writing for the majority

“Marriage responds to the universal fear that a lonely person might call out only to find no one there. It offers the hope of companionship and understanding and assurance that while both still live there will be someone to care for the other.” – Kennedy, writing for the majority

"There's so much more work to be done to extend the full promise of America to every American. But today, we can say in no uncertain terms that we've made our union a little more perfect." — President Barack Obama.

"This decision recognizes the fundamental truth that our love is all equal. Today is a great day for America. #LoveWins" — Tweet from first lady Michelle Obama.

"So while we celebrate the progress won today, we must stand firm in our conviction to keep moving forward. For too many LGBT Americans who are subjected to discriminatory laws, true equality is still just out of reach." — Former Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton, Democratic presidential contender.

"This decision is about creating a future where loving, committed families are able to live with dignity. This is about freedom. This is about love. This is transformative, not only for LGBT families, but for America." — House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, D.-Calif.

"Today's ruling strikes a blow to inequality and discrimination throughout the nation, and that's good for Americans' mental health." — Renee Binder, president of the American Psychiatric Association, which in 1973 removed homosexuality from its list of mental disorders.


The tide is turning for LGBTQ persons in this nation, in our culture. I look forward to the day when no one has to fear being assaulted, discriminated, degraded, or discarded because of who they are or who they love. I fear for the LGBTQ youth and adults who take this opportunity to live and love authentically and find themselves facing abandonment from their friends and family, discrimination from their jobs and housing, and assault from strangers wherever they go. June 26th, 2015 is a monumental day in American History, but the fight for equal rights and protection under the law and cultural acceptance continues. 

The most important relationship we all have is with ourselves. The center of your social environment, the common element in all of your relationships, is you. You have likely heard the common advice, "If you don't love yourself, then how can anyone else love you?" I don't believe this is 100% true, but I do believe that in order to truly live a vibrant life with healthy relationships, we need strong self-esteem and sense of self-worth. But how does someone trapped in a world of depression, anxiety, shame, or anger build self-esteem? 

In my blog about Love Languages I discussed how every person speaks and perceives love through specific methods, which sometimes differs from our partners. Our Love Language can also impact our self-esteem and our sense of self-worth. An example: If my primary Love Language is Words of Affirmation but my mind constantly berates me and insults me like a schoolyard bully, then my self-esteem is going to wither away. Alternatively, if I make a point of congratulating myself on my accomplishments and identifying aspects of my character that I appreciate, I will feel more loved and my self-esteem will improve.

Try this: Take the Love Language assessment and consider how you currently treat yourself in your love language. Write down a list of actions you can do that use your love language to show yourself a little more love and compassion. Each day, do one of the items from the list. At the end of a week, reflect on all the love you have expressed for yourself and consider this question: do you feel loved?