F*ck That!
One concept that comes up often during individual therapy is dissonance versus resonance, recognizing when our intuition is trying to tell us something about that moment isn’t good for us vs is good for us. I’ve heard many friends and clients over the years decide that if their response isn’t a “F*ck Yes!” then they don’t need to agree to do whatever was asked of them. Self-care is any experience we can celebrate with a “F*ck Yes!”
In recent years I’ve learned it’s possibly even more important to recognize and address sources of dissonance in our lives. What are the threats to our peace? What activates our stress responses in fearful ways? Who, what, where, how are we harmed each and every day? Many people struggle to identify those sources of dissonance because we’re taught to not rock the boat, don’t initiate conflict, don’t push for change too loudly or too quickly. So our intuition learns that we won’t resist the painful parts of life, maybe we even learn to think that we must deserve it somehow.
Well……………. F*ck That!
Racist jokes? F*ck That!
Physician gaslighting you about your chronic pain? F*ck That!
Transphobic comments at the family holiday table? F*ck That!
Big corporation talks up the close family-like environment during a job interview? F*ck That!
New kink play partner breaks out a kind of play that wasn’t negotiated before play? F*ck That!
Best friend schedules their bachelor party on the same day as your wedding, after you sent out invitations? F*ck That!
Partner avoids personal responsibility in your dissatisfaction of your relationship? F*ck That!
The follow up to any F*ck That! is identification of what we will do to remove that source of dissonance - what’s your boundary? Scoot your chair back from the table and go watch football in the living room? Find a second or third opinion from a HAES aligned physician? Choose to not send a thank you follow up email? Remove your friend from the wedding party? Ask for what you want and need in life? F*ck YES!
As this hottie regularly says… Protect Your Peace!
